3 Lies You May Be Telling Yourself

3 Lies You May Be Telling Yourself

Lying is almost always not a good thing.  A little white lie can be okay if it is not to hurt someone, but it also depends on the context of it.

However, you cannot deny that too many lies can be chaotic, especially if one white lie leads to a next white lie and to the next, eventually you end up deceiving yourself and the ones you love.  Lying to yourself is not very healthy, even though sometimes it treads dangerously on giving yourself a pep talk.

I admit that I do lie to get away from things or just not to hurt the people I know.  I told a lot of white lies and some absurd ones too, but I keep myself honest to offset for those lies I told and I don’t want to become a compulsive liar like some people I know who will believe in their own lies even though it’s obvious that they got caught lying.

What I am about to share may or may not relate to you, but these are the 3 common lies I find a lot of people are telling themselves, including me….

1)   I’m Okay.

I want to be okay even though deep down I know I might not. When I am down or something drastic happens in my life, I always tell myself and to others that ‘I’m Okay’ even though I am not. When I was recovering from stroke and coming to terms of the “not normal life” I would be facing, I was treading on the slippery edge of depression. I learned from that experience that it’s okay to not be okay. Telling that myself that I am fine and keeping everything to myself is unhealthy, and in fact that was the tipping point to near depression.  I was like in the shadows keeping to myself.

When I started to reach out for help and confide in ‘stronger’ people who are in the light, and they extended their helping hand of encouragements, that’s when I started to step out from the shadows and into the light.
Finding an outlet to share what you’re feeling helps.  That was Effective Way #7 Write, I usually write when I am feeling not okay or tell it to my husband or a trusted friend so we can talk about it.  After that sharing session, I will feel a sense of good relief.

Admitting that you’re not okay can be scary to some but it’s better to admit it than to lie to yourself and keep those negative emotions piling up within you.

2)   I’m Not Ready To…

Truth is, no one is ever ready for anything, because life is like that.  Expect the unexpected. Yes I am not ready for anything.  I told myself ones before I started studying part time while working that I am not ready for the real commitment of time and money away while I just started enjoying the luxurious full pay of professional yet.  I told myself that I am not ready to leave my previous corporate life as an engineer with a decent pay, to take things easy, start anew and work from home without a stable monthly pay, but I had to do it ultimately as the stress is killing me as a corporate slave and I could not risk a second stroke.

It’s a big change for me, but my husband, my number one fan, was always there to encourage me to step out of my comfort zone, to put health first, and take life by the horns as it comes.
Even If I fall, I should just stand tall and not make the mistake again.

If you say you aren’t ready for something, chances are that you either are not all that interested or you are too deep procrastinating – most likely out of fear.  However, all you have to do is believe in yourself, (effective way #4) have faith,and take it one step at a time, putting each foot forward, slowly, steadily, surely.

Keep an open mind to your options. Be courageous and take the leap of faith.

 3)   I Can Do That Tomorrow.

Yes this an old habit that even I need to break..  I have a very bad habit of procrastinating.  Always putting things off thinking that I can do it tomorrow, or I can finish it tomorrow. It was a bad habit during my days of a student, pushing back datelines, giving me sleepless nights and 临时抱佛脚 (Chinese proverb: 平时不烧香,临时抱佛脚 – Never burning incense when all is well, but clasping Buddha’s feet in an emergency).
Old habits die hard, but you don’t let the bad habit of procrastinating stop you to finish on what you can finish today, but of course without stressing yourself up over it.

So these are the lies I keep telling myself and I believe some of you may face the same thing.   Although lying is in the human nature, we can still help ourselves to improve and refrain from lying that would eventually come back and bite us.

By becoming aware of what you are telling yourself, you can do this by listening to your inner self and tuned into your feelings. As soon as you feel badly, ask yourself what you are telling yourself that is making you feel badly.

Ask yourself if you are certain that what you are telling yourself is true?  Chances are that you will recognize your pain is caused by the made up lie. Next ask yourself what is the truth? When you have a genuinely strong desire to know the truth, the answer will come through you from your inner and wiser self.

Bring the truth to the wounded part of yourself, and take action based on the truth. In time to come, your inner dialogue will slowly shift from lies to truth.  And truth frees you from the painful feelings that result from the lies.

Be more honest to yourself.  A little honesty can go a long way. The best way to start now is by observing your thoughts. Where are your thoughts running?

What is your inner voice whispering?

If you are still feeling lost, let your numbers tell you about your secret strengths, romantic matches, best friends & perfect career to know about who you are, and where you should go from here.